


”Filleann an feall ar an bhfeallaire”

by MediocreHuman



Series: Caisleán gloine [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Codependency, Dysfunctional Family, Fratricide, Grief/Mourning, Mental Instability, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 05:16:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15678780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MediocreHuman/pseuds/MediocreHuman
Summary: A father who killed himself and a sister who disappeared. A brother who died in a war and an overbearing mother.Despite having many issues in his life, Alexavior is fairly good at getting rid of them.Afterall his hands had been stained red since he was 8. What's a little more blood?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alistair - Oldest Brother  
> Moira - Middle sister (desceased)  
> Alexavier - Youngest brother
> 
> Alistair and Moira were a year apart, Alex is 7 years younger then Alistair.

_ “H-hey? Big brother?” Bright green eyes looked down into a smaller pair of equally green eyes. _

_ “What is it? Did you need something?” Alistair quickly closed his textbook and turned to face the younger boy. He was taking notes for his history class when his younger brother Alexavier had come into his room. His workload was nowhere near finished, but he still put it away the second he saw his brother. Despite their 7 year age difference, they were extremely close. _

_ “I miss you…” he muttered sullenly. Alistair laughed and pulled Alex onto his lap. _

_ “How could you miss me? I’m right across the hall.” _

_ “It’s not the same… you’re always so busy with school and friends now. I barely ever see you.” At this, a thoughtful expression replaced the smile that had previously occupied Alistair's face. _

_ “I’m sorry you feel like that. But remember, you will always come first.” As he spoke he pulled the small bracelet he always wore off his wrist and handed it over to his brother. Alex looked up at him questioningly. “I made this a while back. It was originally for Moira but…” He trailed off then shook his head and kept speaking. “What I mean to say is that when you wear this you can think of me and then you won’t feel lonely anymore.” Alex gently ran his fingers over the small pieces of rope bound tightly together. The three main bands braided together with what looked like faintly colored strings. Red. Green. Blue. The favorite colors of the King siblings, Alistair, Moira, and Alex. What once was three, now was two. Alistair knew his brother would catch on but he prayed he wouldn't bring it up. It had only been a year since his sister's death and he still didn’t know how to approach the subject with his young brother. They had danced around the subject from the moment it happened. Alex knew this and forced a bright smile. _

_ “Thank you, Alistair! I love it! I’m sorry I bothered you, I’ll leave you alone now. I know you have homework.” As soon as his door closed Alistair allowed himself to slump down in his chair, suddenly drained. _

“Alistair...please. You Promised you'd come home.” Alex stared at the grave blankly not expecting a reply. After a few minutes, he stood up and walked over to his car. To the outside world he might have looked like he didn’t care but really he was just tired. He had gone to too many funerals. Lost too many people. He entered the car and after a bit of hesitation started driving home. It was an hour drive but it felt like no time had passed, mostly because he really, really did not want to go home. With a sigh, he shut off the car engine and prepared to enter his... the house. It stopped being his home when his brother left and the lively house he knew fell forever silent. “Hey, Mum?” No answer. Silent as the graveyard he just came from. He peeked into his Mum’s room to check on her but she was still asleep. Good. With a heavy sigh, he headed towards his own room. He collapsed onto his bed. He could change later. Alex stared at the small woven bracelet he had received so long ago. That night his dreams were full of tortured screams and his siblings’ anguished faces. Nothing new.

**2 YEARS LATER**

It has been 1 ½  years since he last saw his childhood home. Now that it was just him and his Mum, they didn’t need such a big house. At the time, buying and selling a house seemed like the most terrifying thing possible. He was wrong. It got so much worse. For many reasons. As much as he wanted to, dropping out of high school hadn’t been an option. It was hard enough getting a job without going to college, he didn’t need to add “high school dropout” to his résumé. So instead, he just cut sleep out of the routine and spent senior year in a caffeine filled haze. Any friends he managed to gain early in his high school career were lost. He didn’t mind. They couldn’t understand what it was like. Instead of hanging out and partying, he had to stay home and study or work. The carefree youth he had once been was gone. It died along with his brother. All that remained was a mangled corpse with lifeless eyes and a waning desire to live. The thought made him chuckle. After Moira's death, Mother decided her children needed to see a shrink to make sure they were coping alright. The shrink told her the boys were far too co-dependent. It could cause problems in the future. His mother brushed this off because all her kids had been close and it made sense that the two remaining siblings would cling to each other. They’d grow out of it eventually. They never did. And for her foolishness, his mother paid the ultimate price. Now that almost everyone was dead their mother herself became far too reliant on him. It was rather annoying. When she wasn’t silently staring at a wall she was begging him to never leave her, muttering about dangers and needing to keep him with her. Since he was so busy he started drugging her when he went out, to keep her calm of course. After a while though,  he started doing it over pettier things. Wouldn’t stop crying? Drug her. Was she trying to talk to him? Drug her. Anything to keep her quiet and far away from him. Eventually, though she grew a tolerance and started trying to get better. She wanted to move on and forget his beloved siblings. She wanted to go to therapy and talk to more shrinks and it just made him want to scream. That night he gathered all the pills in the house and mixed them together. Later on the news, it would report that Widower Fiona King overdosed on pills that night after being unable to cope with the death of her eldest son.

**1 YEAR LATER**

It had started innocently enough. A co-worker had offered him a cigarette. He had had a pretty bad day so he accepted. It went downhill from there. See, bad luck followed Alexavier like the bloody plague. Lady luck absolutely hated him... not that it was wasn’t deserved. Whenever he was around things seems prone to breaking, lights flickered, and the air was always cold. Those around him often joked about a ghost following him. He hoped not. Knowing him, it would be his dead mother back for revenge. The stupid woman was petty enough in life, he couldn't imagine how bad she would be in death. So yeah, he had a lot of bad days. 

The more he smoked the more addicted he got and eventually the good feeling started wearing off. So he turned to the streets for and ... alternative. And by alternative he meant cocaine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex had loved his brother more than anything in life. Death was slightly less fun

Coke is freaking expensive. Alex knew this going in. Yet still, week after week, he kept coming. This is why he had a job. Practically his entire salary went into his little habit. But he didn’t mind.  His entire family was dead. 21 years old and he had no one. He was so lonely, it was driving him insane. Well, it had been at least. Past tense. It was actually pretty funny. The more his life fell to shambles, the less lonely he became. Maybe he was already insane?

He must have been since he was hallucinating his bloody dead brother. And man did he look bad. Like he went through a blender bad. Alistair had reluctantly admitted to having been tortured when Alex questioned him. He offered to listen. After hearing the entire story he spent the next couple hours throwing up what little he ate. It’s just a hallucination he muttered to himself. It’s not real, it can’t be real, my real big brother would never let himself be caught! He woulda died bravely protecting others and-”

“Sorry little bro.” The sorrowful face of his brother was staring back at him. He had to look away. Where there had once been a pretty face that made all the girls swoon was now rugged and broken and so battle weary and bloody he hadn’t recognized him at first. Bit by bit he started getting used to seeing his brother’s, uh, ghost. The issue was, the only time he could see him was when he was high as a kite.

Every once in a while his brother would mention something about him ruining his life and how he couldn’t stand to see his brother suffer but that was a lie. They both knew it. Alistair was just as lonely as him and if he had learned one thing about his family, it’s that they would always choose themselves. Who knew selfishness could be genetic? He asked his brother once, what did he think would have happened if their family had been a bit more functional. Alistair shrugged and said he’d never thought about it. Another lie.

They were all selfish liars. It was no wonder why none of them ever really had true friends. Maybe they could have avoided this if someone, anyone in the family tried to put in a little effort. Maybe Dad never would have tied that noose around his neck. Maybe Moira never would have run off and died. Maybe Alistair never would have joined the army. Maybe Alexavier never would have become a drug-addled murderer. Too many “maybe’s”. Too many uncertainties. If one dwelled on them too long they’d go mad. Good thing he already was.

“Hey Alistair, my stash is running low, I'm gonna run out quickly. Don’t cause me too much trouble! I’d rather not get kicked out of another motel ‘kay?” Alex gave a quick wave before dashing out the door. Alistair just shook his head as he followed his brother out. He had to go through a couple of walls and duck around a couple of corners to stay out of sight but it was cool. Unfortunately for him, wherever his brother went he was forced to follow. He’s attached to his brother. It was rather annoying. Especially when his brother couldn’t see him. Instead, he sat back and watched as Alex tore himself apart from the inside. He observed without judgment as his baby brother stole his mother’s life. He remained quiet even when all he wanted to do was scream and shake the stupidity out of him because why couldn’t he see what he was doing to himself? He was alive. He had a chance at life and what did he do? He ruined it because for the first time in his life his Big Brother wasn’t there to save him.

A familiar bitterness arose in him as he remembered their youth. His parents… they had tried. Once they snapped out of their own little world and remembered they had children they had tried to fix what had been broken. It was too late. The King siblings had already formed an impenetrable bond and those two were not included. So that is why at 15 he had been forced to become the sole caretaker of his brother. Dad was dead, so was their sister. Mom was back to being useless. He had been forced to push his own grief for his bloody sister aside just because his little brother needed him. It wasn't fair. He tried to silence the little voice but some small part of him, some really really small part was glad his brother was falling apart. For the first time, Alexavier was being forced to go through a bit of what he went through and he couldn’t handle it. If that didn’t prove his superiority he didn’t know what did. It was like the perfect revenge.

Glancing around the corner he waited impatiently for his brother to finish the deal. It was taking longer than usual he must be a bit short on money. Alistair rolled his eyes. Coke was expensive, Alex couldn’t have gotten addicted to something a bit cheaper, like heroin? Typical.

Aw crap. Alexavier groaned internally as he handed over every bit of cash in his possession. Guess he’ll have to beg his boss for another advance because at this rate he was going to get kicked out onto the street _again_ . It was worth it. Everything was worth it. If snorting coke is what it took to see his brother he’d do it. If living on the streets and being in constant danger got his brother to stay he’d gladly freeze. If his brother was okay with him starving then so was he. Because he loved Alistair and he needed him and as long as they were together nothing mattered. They’d be together _Forever_.

Time passed and it never got better. If anything it got worse. Because as great as love, and devotion, and a dangerous level of co-dependence is, it can’t keep you going forever. Eventually, you’ll crash. And a couple of months later that’s what happened. Alex has nodded off as he leaned back against the couch when he was forcefully awoken by a loud “CRASH” and a blood-curdling scream. He jumped up as fast as his drug-addled brain could manage and looked around in fear and surprise. He expected to see a burglar. What he didn’t expect to see was Alistair on his knees, sobbing on the ground with shattered glass coating the floor.

“B-big brother?” He approached hesitantly. He inched closer when there was no response. “Alistair?”

“Stop it.” He paused.

“What?”

“Why do you insist on torturing me?” Alex had no clue what he was talking about.

“I’m not torturing you, did you have another nightmare? It’ll be okay! Look, we’re both okay!” At this Alistair looked up at him and his face twisted into an ugly scowl.

“Liar. You’re keeping me here. Let me go. LET ME GO YOU SELFISH COWARD”  At this point, Alistair had leapt at him and it was all he could do to avoid the punches. Eventually, he started slowing and then he just stopped. Like all the energy drained from him. The anger faded from his face, a tired, defeated look quickly replacing it. Alex gently lowered them both to the floor and tentatively reached out to touch his brothers face.

“I don’t understand. How am I keeping you here?” Alistair sighed as he did when Alex was younger and stupider.

“The bracelet. The one I made for Moira. It’s keeping me here. Burn it and I'll be free.” He said it with such disinterest like he already knew how this conversation would turn out. And he was right. Alex couldn’t keep the horror out of his features.

“...You can’t ask that of me. Oh Gods, Alistair you cannot ask that of me. Please, I’ll do anything just don’t do this, _please_. I need you” His brother's eyes went cold.

“Of course you need me. You’ve always been a selfish brat. Have you ever, even once in your life considered me? IT WAS ALWAYS YOU!” Before he could even blink hands were against his throat slamming him against the wall.  “I was 15 when I lost my sister. MY SISTER!” He couldn’t breathe. “ She was the one I loved, you were just a last-minute mistake our parents made! I loved her so much yet I couldn’t even grieve because my bratty baby brother _needed_ me.” There was so much venom in his voice that Alex was frozen. even when the hands released their crushing hold on his trachea. Was this really how his brother felt about him?

“Okay.”

“Okay?” It was his brothers turn to be confused.

“I thought I was enough to keep you here. I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry. It's about time someone in this family stopped thinking of just themselves” With robotic movements, he crossed the room and headed towards the junk drawer where he kept an assortment of items, including a lighter. Alistair was starting to look guilty. He may have been a bit harsh. “Goodbye, big brother. I'm sorry” Despite his earlier conviction Alistair's eyes widened as he made a final attempt to reach out to his brother.

“Wait! Alex, stop! I’m Sor-” The bracelet went up in flames.

“No you weren’t” And that was the end. Is this what life was? Following blindly all your life until the one you love just comes and crushes all your hopes and dreams? Does he even have any? What is life? He let out a giggle. Life thought it could push him around like a bully on a playground. He wouldn’t put up with it anymore. “Sorry life!” He picked up a pocketknife and took a moment to admire its shiny blade. “It’s not you, it’s me” The blade plunged itself into his jugular vein. He tried to choke out the word ‘bye’ but blood was already filling his lungs. Oh well. All he could manage was pained, hysterical laughing as the light slowly faded out of his eyes leaving nothing but a bloody corpse. It was starting to look like suicide was genetic too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering how an 8 year old killed a 14 year old, it was pretty easy. I know sibling rivalries can get pretty extreme but who ACTUALLY expects their younger sibling of 6 years to take a knife and stab you, especially if you actually got along quite well.

**Author's Note:**

> I considered writing a third part about what happens to Moira (hint: Alex is a homicidal little shit) but I never got around to it.   
> But yeah, if you hadn't figured it out, Alex is..unstable and he killed his older sister out of jealousy. It actually worked out pretty well as he got his desired result of becoming much closer to his big brother
> 
> He does not have APD (anti-social personality disorder), as shown by his..kinda regret? Maybe one day I'll work out his character. Today is not that day.


End file.
